To take information that was clearly given in confidence and pass it on is pretty shitty. At least you now know that you can't trust that person at all, though.
If you can get up the courage, speak to the person you talked about and, without being dishonest or saying you didn't mean what you said, tell them that you were angry about a situation and were venting about that situation. Apologise for causing any offence and assure them it won't happen again. Then make sure it doesn't. There's really nothing more you can do at this stage and even that much may just make things worse, depending on the person's personality they may prefer to pretend it didn't happen.
Time heals most wounds Office drama sucks but is so hard to stay out of! I totally agree that you do not owe the confidant an apology quite the reverse.
I'm on the fence about the subject of the venting. She has already addressed in, albeit indirectly and on a professional level, so maybe for her it's case closed.
On the other hand, she may have been opening up the topic for you to 'fess up and apologize? Only you can know that. I'm inclined to say, Just move on and yeah, do better. I would talk to your boss about it, as it could affect their ability to work with this other person if they are a peer, and it is sure to come up between them if they need to interact..
You don't owe an apology to the person you "burdened," especially given that they promptly unburdned themselves onto the person you were talking about. I do think that at some point you may need to address this with the person who was the subject, though - or perhaps with your own boss.
It's okay for you to continue to believe this person has a "hidden agenda" well maybe not okay, but you don't have to suddenly be besties with her but still apologise for your own unprofessional behavior, I mean. However, the situtation will probably continue to fester in one way or the other - just do your level best to not feed that fire any further. And forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Supposing you talked with A about B. If you interact more often with A than with B, I'd recommend trying to find out from A a bit more about the A-B conversation.
Did A tell B you were a rude and scandalous employee, or did you come up in conversation and A mentioned that you seemed a bit frustrated by the way B handled X? Once you know exactly what you have to apologize for, you'll be a lot better prepared to do damage control with B.
But no matter what the A-B conversation was, your best angle might be to apologize for the momentary lapse in judgement while minimizing how much vitriol you admit to. Just knowing that she may have thought I was really upset, makes me want to at least mention it to you even though it's not a big deal. Yep, this is the most important thing. I once wrote a venting email and accidentally sent it to the person I was venting about. Holy shit. Bad form. I followed up immediately with a straightforward apology.
Luckily the guy was a truly decent type who accepted my apology and we went on to work together amicably for years. If your apology failed and you are certain you successfully applied all these tips, try alternative forms of apologizing, such as writing an apology or getting someone else to apologize for you. Do not forget that letting time pass could make your apology a success. On the other hand, if your apology was successful, congratulations!
Learn from your mistake and move on. Do not dwell on the past. You have a great future ahead of you. Make use of it by putting your attention on what you can do this very moment to improve the relationship. You are now ready to complete emotional healing and freedom with forgiveness. Joshua Uebergang, aka "Tower of Power", teaches social skills to help shy guys build friends and influence people.
Visit his blog and sign-up free to get communication techniques, relationship-boosting strategies, and life-building tips by email, along with blog updates, and more! Knowing what not to do will guide you with what to do.
By overcoming these barriers and mistakes, you are now ready to heal your relationships and strengthen the damage that set the two of you apart by learning how to correctly apologize. Learning how to be forgiven, by giving an effective apology, and forgive others will create tremendous emotional freedom in your life, which is one reason […].
The article here is indeed interesting and would get the people out of their closet. It encourages one to be bold, confident and positive. At this juncture i thought it would be wise to share a small piece of information which i read in a Book Not sure of the authors name though!!
In fact in some cases it would push the apologisee to think twice whether he deserves it. What actually the author tries to convey is just say a small apology sentence because it does no harm to anybody no matter if he deserves it or not.
The author does have a lot of expertise in this field, kindly keep writing article regularly, it indeed helps readers like us.
I lied to a very important person in my society about how many we are in our family and later the guilt could not let me stay with the lie and so i wrote him an email apologising.
He was going to help me secure a job but after the apology i feel he has grown cold. Get the person aside then correctly apologize by admitting your mistake. Show your guilt, let the person respond, then move on. Use the other […]. The person forgives you for your mistake. Resentment, frustration, anger, gossip, bitterness, ill will, and other outward manifestations of hatred are erased. Take Responsibility Admit you hurt the person.
How to Time Your Apology Apologize straight away for a little problem to prevent it growing into a big one. Explain What Happened Why did you make the mistake? Can You Face the Mistake? That can be done face-to-face or via email—depending on what you think the situation warrants. But making the effort to apologize and extend an olive branch is still well worth the effort.
Out of these three scenarios, this one is the least anxiety-inducing. Getting caught gossiping is never ideal. Then take a minute to assess how serious the situation is. Was your chatter pretty lighthearted and harmless? But if your gossip was particularly rude or inappropriate? If your coworker left before you were able to spit out an apology?
But the main lesson you should take away from this? We spoke to clinical psychologist Dr. Negative bonding is when you develop a closer relationship to someone else by basically bonding over a mutual enemy which is really not a good thing to bond over. It is also basically instinct to seek validation when we are upset or bothered by something that happens, and also to seek emotional support. People frequently seek reassurance about interactions with others that they feel anxious about after the fact.
Aka own it, trademark Lisa Rinna. Depending on their response, you could have an opportunity to explain what you were talking about and seek some sort of resolution with them. Maybe they had no idea!
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